Voltaire's Adventures Before Candide: And Other Improbable Tales

Voltaire s Adventures Before Candide And Other Improbable Tales A famous philosopher A giant meat cleaver A sordid tale of love revenge hatred and interstellar shenanigans all stirred in a giant copper pot and boiled with leeks This is the never before told bi

  • Title: Voltaire's Adventures Before Candide: And Other Improbable Tales
  • Author: Martin D. Gibbs
  • ISBN: null
  • Page: 415
  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • A famous philosopher A giant meat cleaver A sordid tale of love, revenge, hatred, and interstellar shenanigans, all stirred in a giant copper pot and boiled with leeks This is the never before told bizarro history of the illustrious Fran ois Marie Arouet, known to the world as Voltaire This is pain This is suffering This is wild, sticky sweat between the sheets actioA famous philosopher A giant meat cleaver A sordid tale of love, revenge, hatred, and interstellar shenanigans, all stirred in a giant copper pot and boiled with leeks This is the never before told bizarro history of the illustrious Fran ois Marie Arouet, known to the world as Voltaire This is pain This is suffering This is wild, sticky sweat between the sheets action Inter dimensional space and time travel, space brides, desiccated planets, great literature, and Slobodan Milosevic, too.We invite you to the party Please bring your own soap and Quaaludes.

    • Þ Voltaire's Adventures Before Candide: And Other Improbable Tales || ↠ PDF Download by â Martin D. Gibbs
      415 Martin D. Gibbs
    • thumbnail Title: Þ Voltaire's Adventures Before Candide: And Other Improbable Tales || ↠ PDF Download by â Martin D. Gibbs
      Posted by:Martin D. Gibbs
      Published :2019-07-23T00:09:03+00:00

    About “Martin D. Gibbs

    • Martin D. Gibbs

      Martin Gibbs writes in several genres, from fiction to fantasy to bizarro He enjoys cross country skiing, biking, and burning b arnaise sauce He has two very active boys who share his wild imagination, and a wonderful wife who supports all the craziness.He lives in the tropical paradise of MN.

    282 thoughts on “Voltaire's Adventures Before Candide: And Other Improbable Tales

    • A few years ago, back when I was still reviewing for Big Al's Books and Pals, I woke up one morning to find that I'd completely cleaned out my book queue. So I went to the boss and I said to him, "Hey Al, got anything weird for me today?" By and large, we received boatloads of fairly typical genre fiction in those days, and so I usually had to settle for fairly typical genre fiction. But every so often, Al would toss a true gem my way, something fun and interesting that defied all categorization [...]


    • Read my review of the new edition here.Do you sometimes sit there, in your chair, wondering what it all means? Why are we even upon this planet? What insane person decided to place us here and give us these meaningless, hopeless, idiotic chores to complete? As if we were blind rats in a maze of corn. This story will not answer any of these questions. The following is a bizarre story about Voltaire before he sat down to write Candide. I hope that it will at least take your mind off the screaming [...]


    • Review copy kindly provided by editor and GR friend Arthur Graham. Martin Gibbs' first story Voltaire's Adventures Before Candide, is loads of fun. It's a string of wacky adventures loaded with hilarious twists and turns and loops, like an intergalactic roller-coaster ride. You get off, and you say breathlessly: "Wowwee! That was fun! I want to go again! Can I, Mom, can I pleeeeeeeeease?" This revised and expanded version allows you that second ride. The new Adventures Before Candide has kept a [...]


    • This book was laugh out loud funny in parts. It also got me to read Candide which I think helped me get some of the parody aspects of the story. The plot was strange and parts of it were nonsensical but it was a blast to read. Fun stuff.


    • I was invited to review this book since I had read ‘the sequel’, and I must say it shed some frightening light on Candide. How dare Voltaire offer us something so calm when this true testament to his life was so much more exciting?!?!?! I mean, Candide visited like… one planet, as I recall, and it was the one he was already on. Voltaire on the other hand, visited somewhere within the range of 2 to a f**kton. For example. An he did a whole load of other stuff too, like he went on an adventu [...]


    • I have to say, "Candide" would have been a lot easier to understand if I'd known previously about Voltaire's habit of taking off his clothes in public, slicing into people with a cleaver (that he didn't have in 1484), and getting locked up in a mental asylum on Pluto. It's much clearer to me now. On a more serious note, this is fast and fun. The elaborateness of the convolutions are particularly impressive. It would be hard not to have a good time reading this one. Good thing Voltaire's dead so [...]


    • Did you know that before Voltaire ever sat down to pen his famous book, Candide he went on space adventures that went horribly awry, wielded a cleaver (which he didn't have in 1484), and enjoyed a good game of Skip Bo?If you didn't know that, then you must pick up this book immediately! It makes fun of Voltaire's endless use of dialogue, his use of a rambling narrative arc, plot holes, and philosophy - which is dependent on random strings of words and double meanings.Oh, and for the females out [...]


    • I received this book for free in return for an honest review. I will start by saying that this chaotic, wacky book does not care what you think. It does what it wants and says what it wants. The adventures here are pretty epic. Voltaire had so many other characters fucking with him and getting in the way of his progress. He and his cleaver take it pretty well though. At first the absurdity seemed a bit much, but I certainly changed my tune after getting further into it. There was also some self- [...]



    • puerile, full of clichés, the kind of thing you would expect from a child with bad ADHD but without very much imagination. I regret the time spent reading it. Life is too short and precious to waste on this crap of course, this is just my humble opinion, there are all types, and I do enjoy the odd bizarro literature every now and then, but this is just crap and a very blasphemous use of the name Voltaire (if he were religious), again IMHO :)


    • I haven't read Voltaire, maybe that was the problem. I don't like slap stick humor that seems hell bent on trying to prove an inside track to some vein of life I've never traveled. I was doomed from the beginning.


    • I've entered the draw for this book via Giveaways.I hope that I manage to snag a copy. If not, I'll have to just fork out the dough. This book seems to be right up my alley as lately the only books I can stomach are bizarro books.



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